i saw a thing on tv today about a family who eats nothing but raw food. it all comes off their farm, which i guess is the only safe way to do an all-raw diet (you couldn't do it at the grocery store). they also let meat sit up for four or so months--they call it 'high meat'--and eat that, especially when they are depressed. they brush their teeth with butter and clay.

i can dig it to an extent. i love my meat raw and i will eat my weight in sushi if i can afford it. i rarely heat stuff out of the fridge but this family ate one cooked meal and the kids were vomiting all day the next day. i dig that bacteria is good and important....but i believe there are places that should be kept bacteria-free. and, i brush my teeth with baking soda.

i've tried to mind my diet. i've cut way down on soda because i can feel the difference, for one, and i know that i am better off with more water, from the way i feel. i've switched from showers, also, because i think the time in the tub without electronic stimulation is important, too (plus it makes my back and joints feel better). working out.......ive worked out minimally. it's no fun, and i get bored with the repetition. i will never be much for working out, but i have gotten out more and climbed rocks and walked and been more active, which is the same thing, really.

i try to draw SOMETHING every day. i got away from it to an extent during my last relationship--hell, i got away from it completely. in part that is because i tried to add someone to my process, and i find that that is impossible; unless i edit myself, i just plain won't be edited.

there's just so much to worry about. if you eat one thing someone will tell you that that thing would kill them (and you) and the opposite is best. if you dress in one genre that defines your style, you find yourself expected more solidly to conform than if you dress with no genre at all.

i feel like everything is new, and all set up, but has yet to start. i know that will come when i add some sort of more rigid schedule; like it or not i need to work at least part time in order to feel like i know what day it is, for example, but i do like the anti-structure of making my own hours, and going from project to project for my pay. i've never had that luxury before.