Monday, April 20, 2009

living with a nurse

you cannot imagine how much i love hello nurse. aside from the fact that she utterly gets me, and the planetary-aligning sex, there's the simple fact that living with a nurse has a fuckload of advantages and things i just notice that i havent had to deal with before, which i forthwith proceed to list, since i have been all about lists in my manual books lately.

1) if i need a b-12, an i.v. run, or anything of the sort, i have my own nurse. this extends to doctor visits and the hopefully non-eventuality of me needing home care for any reason. i figure get the selfish stuff out of the way first, including

2) the massages, jesus christ.

3) i'm terrified to call her at work. i hear beeps and pages in the background and i am scared someone is going to code and die off because she paused to say 'i love you' before she hung up. i console myself they won't die because we were fighting, since we don't do that much. it would be better to die because of love than a fight, i'd think.

4) we have more rolls of bandage tape than i think the hospital does; i am trying to think of a project to do with them all. also trauma scissors, stethescopes, i.v. tubing, empty blister packs, gauze, tongue depressors, and god knows what else that rode home in her scrubs. sometimes she forgets and brings home the celphone they assign them daily. they don't mind. they're happy to have a warm body on the schedule.

5) i am well on my way to becoming a hypochondriac. i don't think anyone has ever worried so hard about my workings; i can tell when she is listening to me tick and when she worries, so then i worry. i haven't paid so much attention to myself ticking and tocking like, ever.

the picture's one i drew for my dentist in mobile, but i think its the only thing with a nurse hat i had scanned, lol. i've got thousands of these, yanno.

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